July 3: Plane...Schmeh

Well, the Langoliers didn't get us, but they might as well have. Our day of "crazy fun" in San Francisco came to abrupt end as we finally boarded the plane at around 1:00 a.m. We eagerly entered the plane in hopes that we would find an airline comparable to SQ (Singapore Airlines), but our dreams were immediately turned down as we crammed our bags and our bodies into the crowded rows of Air China.

No TV!!! No moist towelettes, no English magazines or periodicals, but most of all...No TV! Dan questions Peter earlier in the day, "Hey, I wonder what they are going to show on the airplane?"
Peter responds, "Hmm, well, what came out before spiderman? Ohh, well schmeh, it'll probably end up being something like music and lyrics..." Bingo. Hugh Grant hip thrusting all movie. All i could think of doing in an attempt to put the horrible conditions of the airline behind me was to recite the various lines of Borat over and over again. "You see, My Brother Billo...He is Retard..." ...time passes... "Do you want to be my boyfriend?"

Very nice!

Dan's Food Column: Never have I been so disgusted in my life with the swill placed before me on an airplane. Just look at this garbage. Beef with beef sauce with Uncle Ben's rice!

This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs.