July 5th: Beijing

So we roll up to this shaggy looking place, walk inside, and the tour guide bores the heck out of us explaining the difference between green, blue, red, floral pink, and rainbow sunshine jade. Little did we know, this "jade factory" would become our biggest place of expenditure so far through the trip and just about assured the highest for the rest of the trip. After spending about two hours browsing through their selection of jade and buying a few items, we set off for the Great Wall. At the bottom, the climb looked incredibly intimidating, but after making our way up a few flights of stairs, the only thought in our mind was to look for a flat piece of wall to play a little catch. So after about 45 minutes of climbing straight up, we found a nice place to settle down and break out the gloves. The climb was fairly difficult, not to mention that we arrived at the wall around midday, but the views of the wall were breathtaking and a twice in a lifetime experience. As we set off back down the wall, we are met by some crazy Italian extreme walker attempting to climb down the edge of the wall, quite a test of balance and endurance. Much to our dismay, the brother Bilo survived his test of faith, but he ironically trips on a few steps of stairs just as he finishes the climb. Do I need to spell it out for you? "You see...My brother Bilo...He is retard..."

Following our climb on the great wall, we are forced to go to another money spending scam place...we all know where this is gonna go... and then we eat at some absolutely dismal hole in the wall (not a first).

Food Column: Government sanctioned artisan shops also have eateries attached to them. Think of the cafeteria in IKEA, except with really greasy tourist-grade Chinese food and you start to get the idea. I don't ever want to see fried pork with sweet/sour sauce on it ever again. Bleeech!